I don't have much to say these days

I don't have much to say these days .. so true.  I am always a chatty person, which makes me think the silence is bad. Even when I go to my WW meeting. I don't say anything. I sit and think and think and nothing to say out loud (only think inside my head .. what is happening)??  It seems that I am gaining weight at a rate of about 2 lbs a week. I'm not kidding.  I am making good choices, I am exercising - I am not sure what is happening.  I am hoping it is my thyroid slowing down but everything feels out of control.  I am up about 6 lbs since my dad died.  This is a fact.  How do I find my way back? It feels like a slippery slope. I am going to meetings and paying to weigh but everything else seems moot.  I am stressed about work, stressed about Dolly and everything else (my dad dying, worrying about my mom, not taking care of myself,  new job with new staff, working long hours, stressing about mortgage payments, figuring out what albinism will mean for Dolly, feeling guilt about not being home with the kids when my neighbour says: "I wouldn't get a nanny if she was anything like your nanny" - huh???).  Maybe things will find their normal again soon.  In the meantime, trying to get some sleep and not eat the easter bunnies.  

Taking Dolly to see genetics on Wednesday and social work to develop an early intervention plan.

I am still here

I am still here.  Reeling from life's changes. My father passed on February 22nd. I was there, by his side, holding his hand while he took his last breathe ...  It has affected me profoundly. I did not have a good relationship with him.  I have found out through grief counseling that the relationships that are characterized as less-than-good are actually the most challenging post-death for resolution.  

Dolly has a confirmed diagnosis of Albinism.  The next step is to meet with the genetics unit at Sick Kids Hospital.  I am looking forward to learning more about it.  

As for the weight-loss, you can probably guess that it is not going too well.  All things considered, I only gained 2 lbs through the hospital time and week-long funeral event.  Now I'm trying to find the space and time for self-care.  

Thanks for stopping by and checking-in on me.

Saturday Check-in

Just a quick post to say that I was down another 1.4 lbs at the scale this week. 

I continue to battle with my thyroid issue - currently it is too fast (but strangely enough, hyperthyroidism can be linked to weight gain).  I pick up my new meds on Monday. I would love to have a normal thyroid! Enough of the cycling from slow to fast to slow etc...  

http://www.mythyroid.com/hyperthyroidism.html

Down at the Scale

I was down 1.2 lbs this week! Woo-hoo! In some ways I see no rhyme or reason to this ... after last week's disappointing weigh-in, I didn't work out for 3 days.  Then worked out 3 days in a row.  Something worked!  Still waiting for the doctor to call me back about the thyroid results to see about my meds being adjusted.

Tomorrow is WI

Well, I had a busy weekend.  Mister fell in the tub on Saturday night and cracked open his skin - which resulted in a trip to the hospital and three stitches.  I think it was harder for us, his parents, than him. He was a real trooper and super excited about a popsicle he got at the hospital.

Tomorrow is WI.  I managed to work-out every day these last 3 days but was generally unmotivated last week after my very disappointing WI.  

I'll let you know how it goes!

Mouse in the House

I was up 0.4 lbs this week. Ugh.  I guess that makes me have a net loss of 0.4 since Christmas.  I'm still waiting for the thyroid test results from last week. I'm hoping that is the answer - just need a med adjustment.  

I have a mouse in the house. I almost fainted.  Sitting in the bathroom last night and one ran across the floor under the radiator.  Picture me screaming at the top of my lungs and waking up the kids.  I think it is my instinct. I ran out of the bathroom and closed the door.  Hubby went in and couldn't see anything.  So I go back and out runs the mouse again only this time trying to get out of the bathroom and bonking his head on the door (kind of feels like an analogy for the weight-loss journey, huh)?  Anyway, the mouse runs back under the radiator.  So we close the bathroom door and stuff towels under it so that I don't have to worry about the mouse while we are sleeping. Now hubby has to set traps.  It is an old house built in 1925 and it is our first winter in it - so I guess a mouse or two is to be expected. I can't help it - I scream every time I see one!

WI Today

WI today.  I will post how I do.  I have been staying on track with the exercise and brown-bagging lunch.  However, have been really tired these past two mornings and opted for sleep instead ... a few days off is okay, I think.