Just Checking In

I know that I haven't been here in a while. I have completely fallen off the weight-loss wagon. I am however, trying to get to the gym. I joined one right across the street from work. I only make it there about once a week with my hectic work schedule, which isn't so good. I am going to commit to at least two times. I just bought 6 sessions with a trainer, so maybe that will help jump start things. Hubby has also fixed up a bike for me and we have been taking 2 hour rides on the weekends, towing the kids in a trailer. The weight is the same.

Work is busy. I am trying to find a new job in the same company where I work. Right now I'm covering my manager's maternity leave and she will be back in November. I did receive one offer and I'm checking it out next week. And I have another interview for a second position on Aug 19. I'm sure something will work out.

The kids are good. Mister starts JK in September. He has been assigned to afternoons and I'm trying to switch it to mornings so it doesn't affect Dolly's schedule. I keep calling the school and nobody is there (figures, it is summer). What irks me about the whole scenario is that my neighbour registered late. I had to tell her to go register and STILL she got her first choice of mornings. Fair? I think not.

We are having a speech-language therapy assessment for Dolly the last week of August. She is doing pretty good but only says a few words at 20 months. Mister was a talker (quite the opposite). We know have a case worker that comes to the house to play with Dolly and will accompany us to hospital/specialist visits for the Albinsim - so that is really helpful.

Hope everyone who is enjoying their summer.

Hours

After my last post, my grandmother told me at Easter dinner that I looked fat.  I'm not kidding.  Her words were: "You look fat. You used to look okay before your dad died, what happened?".  I'm not kidding.  

At least it motivated me to get on the treadmill when I got home.

I think I'm going to look on-line for some motivational tapes.  Something like: "do not eat" (I'm kidding ... sort of).

I am still here

I am still here.  Reeling from life's changes. My father passed on February 22nd. I was there, by his side, holding his hand while he took his last breathe ...  It has affected me profoundly. I did not have a good relationship with him.  I have found out through grief counseling that the relationships that are characterized as less-than-good are actually the most challenging post-death for resolution.  

Dolly has a confirmed diagnosis of Albinism.  The next step is to meet with the genetics unit at Sick Kids Hospital.  I am looking forward to learning more about it.  

As for the weight-loss, you can probably guess that it is not going too well.  All things considered, I only gained 2 lbs through the hospital time and week-long funeral event.  Now I'm trying to find the space and time for self-care.  

Thanks for stopping by and checking-in on me.

Hump Day

Staying on track despite knowing that I'm up 4.8 lbs (sometimes I sabotage myself even worse). Brown-bagging the lunch and exercising.  Thinking of everyone else struggling with the same thing.

The Journey to Me

Is a long one.  Oprah's show on falling off the wagon really resonated with me.  It is not a quick fix.  It is not something that I can 'get'.  It is a life-long journey and arduous so I better be prepared.  It is difficult to learn to love yourself and to make time for yourself.  It is easier to push it aside.  My time is in the early morning.  I may not get much sleep but I will fit in my exercise.  Three days and counting now.  Dolly was up at 4:30 AM today.  I tried to lie in bed until 5 AM and then gave her a bottle and put her back to sleep. Hit the treadmill at 5:30.  I am going to have to start going to bed earlier! 

Today is weigh-in. I have a sneaking suspicion I'm up 3 lbs over the Christmas holidays. I guess it could be worse.  This is where I remind myself about the journey. This is my year to stay on the path to me, to love myself, to care for myself, to be kind to my body, to nurture my mind.