Slip, Fall, Get Back Up!

Thanks for all the friendly posts! I did have a slip yesterday. I was at work from 8 am to 8 pm (in meetings) and got home about 9 PM, starving. Wolfed down two slices of pizza (hubby and the kids ordered it for dinner with me gone) and then felt awful. I guess it could have been worse - like 4 slices, LOL.

I'm having serious imposter syndrome issues at work. My boss is leaving for maternity leave and I'm taking her job for the mat leave. A much higher classification and pay level and a lot more responsibility. She usually micro-manages so dealing with being on my own for the first time and she is drawing attention to my flaws in the final days. Friday is her last day. Trying not to eat my way through the stress and keep some balance. My schedule so far this week has been 9 hour days without breaks and yesterday a 12 hour day without break. Funny thing is that I told the Director I wouldn't work those kind of hours with two little kids ... will have to keep an eye on it.

Going to read how everyone else is doing now.

All that work!

So had a really good week OP - lots of exercise and brown-bagging healthy lunches (I figure that is where I eat extra points when I have take-out at lunch).  And drum-roll please, for a loss of 0.6 lbs -- just slightly more than 1/2 a pound!  Disappointment.  I hope it shows next week. I'm sticking to what I'm doing but I have to tell you - it made me want to run out and eat a bag of chips or a big mac or something full of fat.  I didn't. I ate my whole-wheat pita with grilled veggies and one slice of light cheese :) followed by two clementines.  

Hump Day

Staying on track despite knowing that I'm up 4.8 lbs (sometimes I sabotage myself even worse). Brown-bagging the lunch and exercising.  Thinking of everyone else struggling with the same thing.

Worse than I thought

I am up 4.8 lbs. No kidding. I didn't think it was that bad. Oh boy.

The Journey to Me

Is a long one.  Oprah's show on falling off the wagon really resonated with me.  It is not a quick fix.  It is not something that I can 'get'.  It is a life-long journey and arduous so I better be prepared.  It is difficult to learn to love yourself and to make time for yourself.  It is easier to push it aside.  My time is in the early morning.  I may not get much sleep but I will fit in my exercise.  Three days and counting now.  Dolly was up at 4:30 AM today.  I tried to lie in bed until 5 AM and then gave her a bottle and put her back to sleep. Hit the treadmill at 5:30.  I am going to have to start going to bed earlier! 

Today is weigh-in. I have a sneaking suspicion I'm up 3 lbs over the Christmas holidays. I guess it could be worse.  This is where I remind myself about the journey. This is my year to stay on the path to me, to love myself, to care for myself, to be kind to my body, to nurture my mind.  

Resolutions

It's  brand new year and a new and improved me. I'm determined to kick-start my weight-loss off this plateau.  The new plan is to exercise before work - that means getting up at 5:30 to get in at least 30 minutes in the morning before I take care of Dolly and get ready for work .. I leave the house at 7:15.  So Day 1 (which is back to work after the holidays). Dolly decides to get up at 5 AM.  I feed her and then manage to put her back to sleep.  I did get the exercise in! Yeah me!  I'm determined to keep it up this week.  Time for my shower. I'm feeling motivated!!

Yesterday I cleaned out my fridge and cupboards, cleaned the bathrooms, did the laundry, organized the kids clothes (went through and put away everything that is too small to give to friends with kids), and managed to plan some healthy meals for the week.  I'm also determined to eat home-packed lunches, which are healthier than take-out.  However, an old friend from high-school who now lives in Australia called me yesterday and said she was in town. I have not seen her in 4 years!! So we are meeting for lunch today. My plan is sushi - low points. 

On the Cusp

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!! It is almost 2009 and I feel like I'm on the cusp of change ... of something great.  What do I want for myself for 2009?  What am I grateful for from 2008?  Most of all, I am grateful for the health of my babies - my angels (picture attached).

Dolly still has residual health issues that we are exploring.  Two more appointments in March 2009 at the Sick Kids Hospital. One to test for 'albinism' - apparently her cones have no pigment.  And the second to determine the kind of nystgamus that she has exactly. However, since we have confirmed it is not in her brain, I find these other diagnoses less scary ... things we can manage ... and I am grateful for that.  I am also grateful for Mister - he seems to be developing into such a little man. I sometimes look at him and wonder where did he come from?? I think only another mom can appreciate this thought.  I'm always astounded by his personality. He is a real sweetheart - very caring, very smart and has a great sense of humor.  I am grateful that he is mine.  

I am also grateful for my hubby - who without him - none of this would be possible.   On the job front, I am happy to have one that is secure in this economic times.  I am one of the lucky ones (hubby's is not so secure and he is still hanging on despite all the cuts at his work).   I also recently was promoted (for a 6 month term) to my boss' job (while she goes on mat leave).  So I am grateful for this new adventure, which will begin in January.  

So what do I want for 2009?  More good health, good times and memories and happiness for all my family and friends. I continue to stay stable at my weight loss of 25 lbs. I would like to move off this plateau. I think to do so - I will really need to shake things up in my life.  I'm hoping Oprah's first week of shows will help me get in the mind-set to take care of myself.   Balancing work and family and myself is not always the easiest thing to do.  Sometimes I let myself go to the bottom of the pile.  I would like to take better care of myself so I can take care of my family better too.

Wishing everyone who reads this post a happy holiday and new year!  All the best for 2009!!