Godparents

So we are planning Dolly's christening. I'm receiving extraordinary pressure from my family to make my sister and her husband the godparents.  My sister and I  - well, we aren't very close.  We are seven years apart and we fought like cats and dogs as children.  I didn't make her Mister's godmother because I wanted my best friend to be his godmother. I wanted someone who would be involved in Mister's life. I also think my sister holds the position of aunt and by bringing in someone who is not necessarily blood family would extend the circle of loved ones. I have the same thoughts with Dolly's godparents.  I am planning to ask my good friend and neighbour who has been with us every step of the way.  She was the one who took Mister when my water broke early and we rushed to hospital.  Mister spent two nights with her family until grandma could arrive.  This friend was also the one who made me dinner countless times and left it on my porch when we were driving back and forth to hospital to see Dolly in NICU.  This friend, I think, is a major reason I didn't have post-partum this time around. She made me coffee, took Lilli for a couple of hours so I could get some sleep, spent time with us on a regular basis (she is a SAHM).  So we have been very lucky to have her in our lives.  My mother says that I don't need to 'reward' her for this. I don't think of it as a reward but an honour to have her be a part of my life and Dolly's life.  So what is my strategy for dealing with family stress? Avoidance.  My sister and her family are currently living in Germany. So with this in mind, I will plan the christening for October (a time when they aren't possibly going to make it) and ask the couple that I really want to be Dolly's godparents.  My mother will just have to deal with it.

MRI, MRI

I have been too busy.  Too busy to post.  So here is my short summary:

First and most important, we took Dolly to the second neurologist appointment at the Sick Kids hospital.  The second neurologist basically said - we can't ignore these findings .. we don't know if it is anything or not .. the ultrasound is a soft assessment and we cannot have any definitive answers without the MRI - specifically, we cannot rule out a mass (aka tumor) without the MRI.  So I said, sign us up!  Also please note that I'm holding my breathe the entire time.  It is a 3 month waiting period ... so now we wait. Although my pediatrician was very upset about the wait and since she is on staff at the hospital said she would expedite the process.  I asked about risks - apparently none other than the sedation process.  So now I wait and wait and wring my hands. I thought we were in the clear. I thought we had ruled it out. Now we are waiting again.  

When the health of my little one is in question, everything else seems so unimportant. Like the job. I was really looking forward to going back to work - and now the 3 month waiting period coincides with exactly the same amount of time I have left before I go back to work.  What if something is really wrong with Dolly? What will I do? I cannot lose her. Not now.  

As I said, not important - but the job interview was a bust. I totally screwed it up.  However, I don't think it was the right fit for me given the nature of the questions.  Another job opportunity has popped up. I've been offered a one year succondment in a management job when I go back - although not on paper yet, promising.  I did discuss my work-family priorities and that I needed to be home at times (esp. since I see how managers work long hours) - and they were very supportive of my needs.

We hired a nanny. I pulled Mister from daycare and then cried right after I told the daycare director. We love the daycare and I know he does too.  It will be a difficult transition for him - leaving his friends.  However, Dolly cannot go to daycare with her greater risk for respiratory problems. I do remember how sick Mister was (every week) and the doctor said we just cannot do that to Dolly. I agree.  So the nanny will start one day a week in the fall to give me a break and then full-time when I get back to work.  

Three weeks until we move. I'm not ready at all.  Doing lots of purging and making all the calls but haven't started packing yet.

As for WW, I haven't been tracking and I use food to cope.  I will go to the meeting this weekend but I'm not expecting miracles. I seem to be hovering around my 10% loss of 21 lbs.  I am stuck.  I guess it is better than up 21 lbs. 

Back in the Game

So I'm back from my long holiday in Algonquin Park. It rained a lot - so we spent much of the time indoors with the kids, which wasn't always easy. Nonetheless, it was nice to get away as a family and spend some time out of the city.  

While I was away, I got a call for a job interview. It is this Thursday. I'm terrified.  First, I still have baby mush brain. I feel like I can't hold an articulate conversation - sometimes I forget what I'm saying .. my memory is terrible lately.  I am at a total disadvantage in that I don't have any of my projects in front of me to review.  I'm spending the next few days trying to re-connect with my work.  I am finding myself talking out loud to myself, yes ... rehearsing my explanations.  I'm sure it will be fine.  The strange thing is that the interview is only an hour. Usually with government interviews there is a test beforehand and then a few hours of conversation ... so I'm a little worried that I only have 1 hour to impress the judges.  

Okay, second, I'm still fat. Yes, there I said it. None of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. I don't have a thing to wear. I can't get my suits on ... well, the jackets don't close and my skirts don't zip up all the way. So I have two days to find something (stores closed today with the civic holiday).  I have lost almost 25 lbs with Weight Watchers and was feeling good about myself ... until I tried on those suits.  I did fall of the wagon a bit during holiday week (okay, a lot ... drank copious amounts of wine once the kids were asleep and ate brie, crackers, ice cream etc... didn't journal .. however, I only gained about a pound and 1/2 once I stepped on the scale at home ... and will work this week to get it off before Saturday's weigh in ... I figure we only vacation once a year, it was worth it).  Sorry for my rambling ... back to the issue at hand. I need to find something to wear but I don't want to spend too much as I'm hoping to lose more weight. 

Third. I look like a mom on mat leave. I haven't been taking care of myself.  This order of business means I'm scheduling an appointment for a colour and highlights, and an eyebrow wax and a pedi/mani. I am out to impress. I didn't colour my hair while pregnant (obvious) and I haven't been able to justify the expense with the babes. I have been using over the counter dye jobs.  So it's time to get some professional help here.  I need it!!

George: You are Amazing!!

I'm still dreaming of George. It was the best concert of my life. I could barely contain my excitement.  George ... you are my man!!

The Lawyer, the Banker, the Candlestick Maker ...

So we are home owners. It is official.  This is our seventh house we bid on (lucky number seven). I think we are still in shock. Six times it didn't work so why would it work this time? I love the house. It is perfect. Beautiful kitchen.  Three bedrooms. Two bathrooms. Detached. A yard.  Still, however, in shock.  It feels like I have been on the phone all day, every day trying to secure all the staff we need to get this house going ... the banker, the lawyer, the movers, the roofer (we need to put a new roof on), the insurer, etc.... It is never ending.  

In other news, I lost two pounds this week.  I can only attribute it to dancing my feet off at the George Michael concert at the ACC. I jumped, I screamed, I danced for two hours. I must have earned a lot of activity points to counteract my two razz-matinis that I downed before hand!   I love George!!! Best concert of my life, by far. And two pounds to boot.

Good News

I took Dolly to see the neurologist on Friday.  The doctor said that she didn't think Dolly had a tumor because she would be quite sick otherwise.  She said babies with tumors, you just know.  The doctor thinks it is just isolated nystagmus (meaning vision only not brain related).  We did an ultrasound through Dolly's soft spot to rule out some other conditions but so far everything seems okay (with the exception of the nystagmus).  I am see the world leader of this condition in November.  A big sigh of relief.   She could still have serious vision problems even blindness, but these are conditions that are manageable.  

And, my other news, yesterday we bought a house.  A lovely three-bedroom detached brick house in the Upper Beaches.  I'm in shock - happy and scared all at the same time.  My agent said it's kind of like deciding to have kids. There never is a perfect time when you're financially stable etc... you just have to jump in and do it.  And so here I go.  Ready, set, JUMP!

Friday is the day

Well, we heard back from the neurologist.  Friday is the day.  I'm relieved to have her appointment expedited.  Last I spoke with the receptionist the waiting period was two months unless the neurologist deemed it urgent.  In some ways I'm glad to be in quickly but in others I know that makes Dolly's case urgent.  I don't imagine we'll have the MRI on Friday but rather a consultation regarding the next steps.   Dolly seems to be in good spirits and you wouldn't guess that anything was wrong with the exception of her eye movements.  

I feel distracted. Yesterday I fell of the treadmill (and it really wasn't going fast or steep), just deep in thought and not paying attention to what I was doing.  I'm also eating like a mountain of food (yesterday alone I had two pieces of cake, rice pudding, brie and wine .... um, I think I will be up at the scale this week : 0 ). 

Today I'm off for minor surgery with a plastic surgeon.  I'm having three moles removed that the doctor and dermatologist refused to do since the roots were too deep.  So here I am at a plastic surgeon ... wondering if I could slip into conversation how much a tummy tuck would cost?? hee hee.  I would never do it but it's lovely to dream sometimes.